The Idea of Becoming a Parent..........

So I was sitting in my new house, in the baby's room after getting it almost completely decorated, when it hit me. You are about to become a mom! Then I sat down and freaked out for about thirty minutes.
Now I know that some of you are thinking, well why are you just now figuring this out, your due date is in 10 days and you've had nine months to let that thought seep into your mind. Well, its one thing when you realize your pregnant and have time to prepare and completely different when you realize that the time is almost up. Or maybe that is just me. :)
I have known for years that I am a selfish person, hence the reason us not having any children before now. :) We liked being able to do things when we wanted to, without having to worry about what to do with the kids. You could also say that we were smart enough to know that we weren't quite ready for kids and kept pushing the time table back.
You see when I was a teenager, I had a plan. The plan was I would get married and after two years of marriage we would start our family. Isn't it funny how we make these plans and then they change. Well I got married, two years of marriage passed and I thought, no way do I want kids right now. I'm having to much fun with just the hubby. Then three years passed, and four years passed, then we came up on five years of marriage. By this point I finally finished my bachelor's degree and found myself, somewhat, back in the workforce. Last year happened to be an awfully good year for us and I thought it was now or never to start having kids.
So I'm sure everyone knows what happened next and here I am nine months later, waiting for my little boy to arrive and I'm terrified! Am I excited, is the number one question asked of me and I would like to say not as much as I am terrified. :)
Do I care that I'm losing all my freedom? HECK YES! :) See that is the selfish part of me coming out again. But am I happy to finally step into the wonderful world of parenthood? Yes, until I'm at the grocery store and hear a screaming kid, then I think, WHAT HAVE WE DONE?! Then you add in the fact of who the parents are of this new little person and I think, UH OH! If this kid gets his father's fearlessness and my knack for creativity we are in trouble. Not to mention the craziness that comes from both families. :) And while I'm thinking about all of this, I think that this poor child is completely dependent on us and we have the next 18 years to screw this kid up.
Everyone tells me I will be a really good mom and a part of me believes them. I have wisdom to share (some days), life experience (okay some), and love to give (this I have a lot of). That other part, the "devil" BranDee says, whatever girl, you think you know, but you don't know.
So see, in this blog you have just entered into the crazy world that is my mind, as I sat on the floor of the baby's room and thought about becoming a parent. I would like to say that at that moment the baby kicked and I felt all better about becoming a parent, but that isn't really my style. :) I finally talked myself down and said, get through bringing this kid in the world, then you can start freaking out. :) Or better yet, take it one day at a time and politely nod at those that readily give you advice on how to be a good parent, then flip them off as they walk away. :) KIDDING! For now I think we'll be okay, but ask me in 18 years how my little boy is and if he is screwed up, well lets just hope he isn't. :)